"Not all those who wander are lost." - J. R. R. Tolkien; Why I joined the Peace Corps
Before I begin, I want to recognize how fortunate I am to have an opportunity to make this decision at all. I'm truly so appreciative of the love and support that my friends and family provide me and I know that if something does happen to me on this venture that leaves me struggling afterwards - whether it be physically, financially, or emotionally - that I have people in my life that will help me pick up the pieces. Without that support, this is a risk I wouldn't be willing to take.
I've really struggled writing this blog post because there are so many reasons I want to do this and I could go on for days about why I'm confident this is the right decision for me. In fact, I feel like I give a different, equally accurate, response each time I get asked about it. But for the purposes of this post, I'll focus on the three main factors driving me.
The first is that I've always been interested in the issues facing the global community and I grew sick and almost apathetic from simply acquiring facts about them. According to water.org 1 in 10 people people lack access to clean water. According to the World Bank over 2 billion people live on $3.10/day or less. According to UNICEF at least 200 million girls have had FGM (female genital mutilation) surgery. Did your stomach turn inside out while reading those numbers to yourself and contemplating the harshness of this world? Neither did mine. And that is what I'm trying to change.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to solve all of those things or really any of them. Hell, I can't even bring myself to ditch my iPhone despite knowing it means I'm passively supporting child labor. The reality is that I probably won't work on or help solve any of the issues I just mentioned during my time as a Peace Corps Volunteer. But after years of reading about these things and doing absolutely nothing about them, I had to look in the mirror and ask myself why I wasn't even trying. Am I really so privileged because I was born on this soil and not another? Because I'm a tall, white, *cough*devlishly handsome*cough*, male? Because I had parents who loved me and cared for me? Obviously not. So why am I so casually ignoring people with problems much larger than the ones I'm burdening myself with daily. I think Whitney Cummings sums it up better than I can.
The second reason I'm joining is that self-improvement is really important to me and I believe that the quickest and most meaningful changes occur when presented with great challenges. And if this won't be one of the most difficult challenges of my life then ... well, then I guess I need to improve that much more to be able to handle it. Whitney hit on it and it's worth repeating - our brains subconsciously adapt to our surroundings. But I can consciously decide what environment it will adapt to. And given my belief that we make the largest improvements when faced with difficult environments, this seemed like a natural choice.
And for what it's worth, I don't just mean improving in the ways that may seem obvious. Yes, I will gain a valuable new perspective that will hopefully shape my outlook on life and the decisions I make down the road in a positive way and that is not to be taken lightly. However, putting my myself so far out of my comfort zone will toughen my resolve and strengthen my spirit and that's what I'm really interested in. How will my mind adjust when I don't have a phone to stare at all day? How will my body react to long days in the sun with a diet I'm not used to? What will I do when I am homesick and miserable in the middle of nowhere? How will I overcome these obstacles? Or perhaps better yet, will I?
Finally, let me just be honest - there will be parts of this experience that are really cool. While many moments, perhaps most, will be difficult, frustrating and/or disgusting, I will get to live in an African country and learn a local African language. I'll get to travel to completely unfamiliar places and meet people with completely contrasting perspectives from my own. The truth is that no matter how much I could potentially hate my experience serving, I KNOW there will be moments that last a lifetime. How could I possibly pass that up?
So while I don't have specific goals in mind or know what the next 27 months holds in store, I hope at a minimum I've left the impression that I'm doing this deliberately and with thought out reasons, even if those reasons are somewhat esoteric. That's why I'm calling my blog "Calculated Wandering." I believe there is real value to the unknown and while I'm unsure where my wandering will land me, I know that I'm heading in this direction can only be positive for my life (and hopefully others). Even, and perhaps especially, if my service is ultimately a failure, this experience will allow me to continue to learn and grow to be the type of person I want to become.
I left some information about the specifics of my service in other places around the blog so if you're interested in more details you can check it out there. Also, I've setup a newsletter you can sign up for via the contact page if you're interested in being notified when I've posted a new blog entry - my goal is to post about once a month.
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